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Shimoda plays with isolinear chips

Drunk Shimoda is a reference to TNG episode 2, "The Naked Now," where engineer Jim Shimoda is so inebriated by a virus that he removes all the isolinear chips from the engineering systems. Like a drunk baby, he is so oblivious to the consequences of his actions that he playfully stacks them while the ship counts down to destruction. This sublime state of delirious self-expression was so touching to Adam and Ben that they created a designation honoring each episode's character who most embodied his spirit.

For the purposes of scoring, half points are awarded to characters who only share one of the hosts' distinction for that episode.

See Drunk Shimoda: The Next Generation for the complete list of TNG scores.

Deep Space Nine Episode List Edit

The DS9 crew (as of S4E08):

  • 14.5 - Sisko
  • 11.5 - Dr. Bashir
  • 11.5 - O'Brien
  • 10 - Quark
  • 8 - Garak
  • 7 - Odo
  • 7 - Morn
  • 6 - Kira
  • 4 - Jadzia Dax
  • 3.5 - Nog
  • 2.5 - Dukat
  • 2 - Bareil
  • 2 - Worf
  • 1.5 - Rom
  • 1.5 - Jake Sisko
  • 1 - Eddington
  • 1 - Gowron
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season OneEdit

179 Wormhole Ambergris (S1E01) Thief who throws a mace For how slowly he steals while Nog runs point Sisko For his crazy acid-trip delusion experiences
180 A Real Meet Scary Garak For smarmy charisma Nana Visitor (or Kira) For successfully leveraging her part into having a shorter haircut
181 The Red Bucket The Angry Mob For collectively seeing reason so quickly Dr. Bashir For continuing to walk into a wall with Dax
182 Nurk Goatse Nurse Jabara For acting surprised *every* time someone shows up in sickbay with aphasia Quark For his weird head-grab as the ship blows up at the end
183 Puts the Chew on the Other Ass Tosk For the level of incredulity he maintains while its revealed how multiple people are hunting him Tosk For his "crack shot" at the other hunters that somehow hits multiple people
184 Achilles' Ear Extra behind Vash At 28:26, as Vash leaves, being unable to contain his excitement to be on Star Trek Six-fingered-bidder during auction For being the "hastily-puddied on" sixth finger during the auction scene
185 Rura Penthe™ Brand Gavel Trill Witness For being there despite not wanting to answer questions. Jadzia Dax For not taking any action or perspective on her own life
186 A Choice of Incompetence Ty At 26:10, for leaving, and then having no idea where to go Sisko For shooting Bashir
187 Vaguely Nutcrackery Kira For her look when having to do the "____ count to four" routine Jake Sisko For the look of embarrassment on his face at 17:07 for ogling Bajoran girls
188 Heavy Lies the Lampshade (S1E10) The Episode Writers At the beginning, Nog says his essay was stolen by Vulcans, but then having it revealed that he's illiterate. Inconsistent excuses. Wallace Shawn For going through so much make up, but still being amazing as an actor
189 Hesher Emeritus Croden For terrible backstory Croden --
190 A Box that Does the Work Kai Opaka At 10:20, Opaka licks her lips in anticipation of the imminent crash Lady reacting to Kai Opaka At 40:30, woman in background strongly rejects Opaka's offer of help
191 A Troubling Amount of Knuck Petit Sirah At 26:26, maintaining eye-contact as he leaves the frame Dr. Bashir After ~5 min on the planet, Bashir becomes quippy despite his responsibilities (and basically being the It's Always Sunny Mac)
192 Bajoran Gothic Old Farmhand At 25:09, for his visible dejection about his struggle Middle-aged woman looking at Jake raising his arm At 14:10, Jake fist pumps by himself next to a woman drinking alone
193 Consensual Mornhammer Kira For taking her time during the revelation that what she sees on the screen isn't fully correct Kira For her expression describing "space oscillations"
194 Cotten Candy Thundercloud Lwaxana For the over the pants dick grab around 13:30 O'Brien For talking about puppies to people who don't know what puppies are
195 Pins & Limp Thread Jadzia Dax Because her character is just generally silly despite being caught up in a conspiracy Quark For his overly-injured performance in the neck brace
196 Loaf is on the Pillow [Same] -- Guy at bar during stabbing For taking a drink afterwards to try to establish his innocence
197 Space Butthole Curriculum Guy in crowd during assassination scene at the end For pointing at himself as if to say "I was there!" Morn For eagerly shaking hands with Vedek Bareil as he boards the station as if he cares about Bajoan spiritual leaders
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season TwoEdit

198 Irish Wank Cardassian Guard For his very silly strut going down the hill Odo For being oblivious in the face of danger (graffito & why are there no cameras on the Promenade?)
199 A Lotion For Everything and Everything in its Lotion The Circle guy wearing no-sleeves during the fight For knowing how cool he'd look for not skipping Arm Day Bareil For his creepy/funny seduction techniques (like showing women the box)
200 Limp Swagger Jadzia Dax For worrying about her robes while significant political change is occuring Morn For being confused about how to get off the station in the crowd scene
201 We Get Worse in Both Directions Dr. Bashir For how he hyposprayed the Klingon Odo Because if he cared about security, Quark would be in prison, and has not put up cameras
202 Lennying it to Death Garak For waking Bashir up by just *being* in his room Garak For the orphanage scene
203 Chekhov's Nose Dr. Bashir For his reaction to Melora talking about turning the gravity down, in an erotic way Kira For only uttering five words in the episode
204 Slickback Emeritus Morn [same] Morn For sleeping at a bench at the beginning of the episode to get into the bar as soon as it opens
205 The Canoe Has Ridges Rom & Bajoran Murderer For the same reason as Adam, and for the other guy, they way he plans out the murder Rom For when he says "Oo the Ironies!" and his car-alarm scream
206 They Went to Jake Clips Mott the barber For having been underappreciated when the guys reviewed TNG Prof. Seyetik For going out in a blaze of glory
207 One Horn Player Does Not Make an Artist Community Nog Doing pranks, doing bits, running around and being nuts Quark For growling, getting Nog out of jail, and generally acting really big
208 Knuck Spanx Quark For doing the play-by-play himself Dr. Bashir For his growing frustration with the empty sauces
209 We're Really Luxuriating in this Maron ? Moment Shimoda for them not showing Jake & Nog when it pans to the upper walkway Sisko For being able to do a lot with little time
210 Apropos of Nothing (But Sort of What We Were Talking About) Sisko For his order at Quark's The End of the Episode The fact that they just cut to Keiko gasping and cutting to the exterior of the ship
211 Act-Drunk Adjacent Replicant O'Brien For his face when told that he and his wife are at home alone that night Sisko For holding off on telling Jake that O'Brien is a replicant
212 The Crystal Direction O'Brien For just punching the phaser button without caring what it's pointed at Lady in purple at 40:53 For showing up in multiple shots in a way that breaks continuity
213 A Real Haranguing or Banging Conundrum Jadzia Dax Despite a long memory of how diplomacy works, simply telling all these people that they are holographic simulations Colyus For being a town bumpkin sheriff who says 'that was my favorite cloak' when they are demonstrating that they are holograms
214 A Really Remarkable Sign Bolian olds at 15:20 For feeding each other at the Klingon restaurant Anyone choosing not to destroy the universe It's universe vs. universe
215 The Sooner We End This Episode The Sooner I Can Stop Looking At You Garak For biting a thread with his teeth Engineer in cargo bay wide shot carrying coffee offering [--]
216 The Loaf Forgives All Albino's assistant For being pointless during the fight scene Kor Knocking heads together, having a bunch of ladies together, enjoying the rest of his life
217 But Enough About My Butt Gul Evek When he has to wait outside with the body for the entire scene Calvin Hudson For his crushing turn at the end
218 Little Beef, Little Pork Calvin Hudson For being a foil for Sisko Calvin Hudson Because he deserves to have more than one Drunk Shimoda
219 20 mg Gummies Throughout Quark Because the security shutters are flimsy Garak For getting the drunkest
220 Conspiracy (Plus Ten Years) The arm/hand coming into the frame at 27m to do double-Kira hands For having big man-hands like the Seinfeld episode The arm/hand coming into the frame at 27m to do double-Kira hands [no explanation necessary]
221 Orb Refractory Period Winn's purple old dudes For existing Bariel For being contractually shirtless
222 Anachronistic Mustache O'Brien For taking a moment to consider a threesome Boone For being a chaos agent despite not really doing much
223 It's Like Her Hair Is A Cookie Jake and Nog Pulling out isolinear chips in the style of the original Shimoda Captain Keogh Terrible strategic thinking
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season ThreeEdit

224 Perplexing Volume Odo For not telling anyone about what was going on inside him Odo For being unpredictable
225 Remmick Levels of Intensity Dr. Bashir For not healing O'Brien's very treatable injury Kira For being a third wheel
226 Secret Silk Gowron For throwing his pad away Scene with Quark's financial presentation to the Klingons For being a genuinely funny, well earned joke
227 Be The Industrial Mixer You Want To See In The World Odo For being a fish-out-of-water when whisking Sisko For threatening to destroy Trill culture
228 She Puts the Beige in Bajor O'Brien For taking a break by not really being in the episode Garak For taking it upon himself to kill a person whilst being a guest on an away mission
229 You Can Kill Them With Embarrassment Quark For being suckered into buying salvage through ear touching Odo Smiling
230 Pubescent Combadge Dr. Bashir For not thinking about grabbing a phaser until the death rays started back up Garak Unnecessarily accusing Dukat of having a crush on Kira
231 Mid-Brand Cigarette Sisko For his soft-focus placement in the shot at 19:00 O'Brien The line read of "Long time between meals"
232 Big Commander Energy Sisko Being selectively outraged regarding rules Sisko and Dukat For looking at each other and then looking away multiple times
233 No Atheists in a Bajor Hole Keiko For stopping in the airlock doorway Balls Guy For turning the episode into a circus
234 They Found Him in Berkeley, They Left Him in Berkeley Biddle For calling Sisko "New boy" O'Brien For not admitting fault
235 Not Purple Sports Car Success Sisko For being late in understanding that he was Gabriel Bell Chris Brynner Not going through any crisis when making the decision to throw everything in his life away
236 A Very Tough Kouign Aman Nog For the way he annouces that "Money is good but women are bett-er" 60 year old Ferengi waiter For being as old as the Nagus but still working in a bar
237 A Hundred Duck-Sized Odos O'Brien For having lots of off-screen fun hangs Sisko For the having the latitude and ability to be a chaos agent for good
238 Resting Prophecy Face Bajoran security guard in the Cardassian ship For awkward walking, seemingly not wanting to be on camera and for being on a Cardassian ship in the first place O'Brien The scene in the jefferies tube
239 Let Go and Let Horse Red-shirt sitting down at the Carrington Award scene For being stressed that he didn't offer his seat to a superior officer Quark For having a cavalier profound religious experience
240 Top PtaQ Quark For only caring about beating fate for profit Dr. Bashir For failing to see the magic in events
241 A Sarlacc Type of Mouth Nurse Jabara For not representing anything but 'Nurse' Sisko For not doing anything about Bashir dying
242 Uncle Terrans Sisko For taking a whole 5 seconds to recognize his wife Sisko For being a sex tourist in the Mirror Universe
243 You Went A to F U Romulan Tal Shiar officer For not playing games and answering all of Sisko and Odos questions Odo For taking a shot at Romulan tailoring
244 Ask the Husnock (If You Can Find Any) Garak For flipping off the room when turning on the torture device Eddington For 'Shimoda-ing' the Defiant's cloaking device
245 The Red Hammer Diaries Morn For listening in to Quark's conversation with Bashir and O'Brien from the staircase Morn Same
246 Space Dish Quark For having a squishy head Dr. Bashir and O'Brien Good awkward moment trying to break into Quark's Bar
247 Tomb of the Unknown Dick Dr. Bashir For being very concerned hearing that O'Brien is "in the zone" Bajoran soldier that lost it in the canyon For losing it in the canyon
248 (Straight out of) Episode 74 Sisko For his stunt guy looking nothing like him The art director For making a sculpture of a dong going through a hole
249 O'Brien Fingers Bashir Dr. Bashir For his timing in revealing that he had been captured O'Brien Incredulity in the face of having 2 changelings in the room with him
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season FourEdit

250 Tout Suite Goop Sweep Quark For pouring beer and root beer from the same coffee pitcher Morn For his "Fuck this" attitude and being the first person through the door when the bar re-opens
251 Barely Legal Melanie For self-inflicting a head wound for attention Old Jake's Headband For being jarring and standing out when it shouldn't
251 #ColonGoals Jem'Hadar that gets given Ketracel White For very casually administering the White to himself O'Brien Making a non lethal weapon to combat the Jem'Hadar
252 Emotionally Vulnerable for the Lulz Dukat For his incredibly tight and revealing pants Dukat Same
253 Uncle Magic Dr. Bashir Being the only person sitting down, and angling his chair to watch the drama Worf For his description of what his dreams are like
254 They Really Spent on the Sparks Enrique Muniz Trying to take his lunch break during an emergency O'Brien Nothing super specific, but his leadership style and fun faces when Worf is a dick
252 Alleged Loughlin Worf Putting Nog's tooth sharpener in his mouth without disinfecting it Nog For asking for, and receiving, a handjob

Bonus Episodes Edit

There are 6(?) additional Shimodas which can only be known by Maximum Fun donors. Donate here to find the Drunk Shimodas to the secret bonus episodes on Star Trek: Generations and Crimson Tide. The Premature Assimilation Tour featured Drunk Shimodas from Star Trek: First Contact as well, but the author didn't remember who they were.


Discovery Episode List Edit

Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season OneEdit

1D Oopsie-Daisy Murder Burnham For hot-rodding through the asteroid field Capt. Georgiou For making the Starfleet insignia in the sand
2D* The Georgiou Rule Heads of the Klingon Houses For being extremely convincible by T'Kuvma Ben & Adam For having forgetten to do Drunk Shimodas in this episode
3D Push Triangle to Talk to Captain Lorca The Klingon who hushes the Starfleet officers on the Glenn For being incongruous as a Klingon, like he was in a horror movie Tilly For her nervous energy**
4D All It Took Was a Buffet Lt. Stamets For trusting Burnham that he should transport the tardigrade into engineering, but not trusting her enough not to hold a phaser at it Tilly For trusting that the tardigrade won't kill her, with absolutely no evidence
5D Curved Like a Bat'leth Lt. Stamets For lying to the captain that he'll hurt the tardigrade in front of his boyfriend Lt. Stamets [Same]
6D She's All Up in that Butt with the Katra Admiral Bob (Cornwall) For not anticipating the trap she's getting into by going to meet the Klingons The Food Replicator For how great it would be to start the day with a lovely convo with a food replicator
6D She's All Up in that Butt with the Katra Adam For his comments about the Food Replicator The Food Replicator For how great it would be to start the day with a lovely convo with a food replicator
7D Bridal Level Threat Ganglia Lorca For initially being the most chill and then acting the most incongruously (e.g. calling the whale a 'fish' but having his own lab onboard) Tilly For actually being drunk while she examines the Gormagander in her party clothes and high-heels
8D Kool-Aid Sneeze Saru For looking crazy while he runs (in sped-up footage) Saru Because his 'convinced' state resembles the original Shimoda in completely going along with the Pahvo
9D Mek'leths at Dawn Lt. Stamets For his expression of indignation for having to submit himself for a physical Tilly For not being able to stop talking when Culber shows up prior to the jump scene
10D Giant Barrel of Goo Gone Helmsman of the Shenzhou For not being confident in his salute Tilly For the scenes "getting into character" and her whole "hold your horses" dialogue part
11D That's Going All the Way In Seru For his cockiness after beaming Ash Tyler aboard Lorca For smirking when Burnham doesn't salute the Empress immediately
12D Gremlins in the Microwave Dr. Culber For there being an abrupt "jump scare" cut to Culber brushing his teeth Guy who witnesses the throwing star massacre For being left alive and told he'll get a promotion for cleaning it up
13D Half Apple and a Pancake Guy in grey jumpsuit during fight For staying out of the action, particularly around 32 min mark, in the hopes of living "Reaction shot salad" (production technique) For going around the horn showing everyone on the bridge at the points when Lorca's secret is revealed, and when the date of their return is discovered
14D Head to the Penthouse for the Party Admiral Bob (Cornwall) For phasering Lorca's fortune cookies Admiral Bob (Cornwall) For phasering the cookies, panicking at Starbase 1, and giving Georgiou command
15D 21 Jump Streeting Qo'nos Clint Howard For saying "I'm Orion" when caught trying to steal hear nuclear football suitcase Tilly For eating whale, getting high, being pumped about the future
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season TwoEdit

*Ben & Adam completely forgot to do this segment in this episode. Their choices are retrospective as of episode 3.

**Adam predicts she will be the first character to cry on the series