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Greatest Generation Podcast Wiki

Bashir #1

Shimoda Power Rankings compiled by @colindinsmore

Main article: Drunk Shimoda

The DS9 rankings:

  • 26.5 - Bashir
  • 23.5 - Sisko
  • 20.5 - O'Brien
  • 18 - Quark
  • 12 - Odo
  • 11.5 - Kira
  • 11 - Garak
  • 8.5 - Worf
  • 8 - Morn
  • 7.5 - Rom
  • 7 - Nog
  • 7 - Jake
  • 6.5 - Jadzia
  • 5 - Weyoun
  • 4.5 - Dukat
  • 1.5 - Ezri

For the purposes of scoring, half points are awarded to characters who only share one of the hosts' distinction for that episode.

Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season One[]

179 Wormhole Ambergris Thief who throws a mace For how slowly he steals while Nog runs point Sisko For his crazy acid-trip delusion experiences
180 A Real Meet Scary Garak For smarmy charisma Nana Visitor For successfully leveraging her part into having a shorter haircut
181 The Red Bucket The Angry Mob For collectively seeing reason so quickly Bashir For continuing to walk into a wall with Jadzia
182 Nurk Goatse Nurse Jabara For acting surprised *every* time someone shows up in sickbay with aphasia Quark For his weird head-grab as the ship blows up at the end
183 Puts the Chew on the Other Ass Tosk For the level of incredulity he maintains while its revealed how multiple people are hunting him Tosk For his "crack shot" at the other hunters that somehow hits multiple people
184 Achilles' Ear Extra behind Vash At 28:26, as Vash leaves, being unable to contain his excitement to be on Star Trek Six-fingered-bidder during auction For being the "hastily-puttied on" sixth finger during the auction scene
185 Rura Penthe™ Brand Gavel Trill Witness For being there despite not wanting to answer questions. Jadzia For not taking any action or perspective on her own life
186 A Choice of Incompetence Ty At 26:10, for leaving, and then having no idea where to go Sisko For shooting Bashir
187 Vaguely Nutcrackery Kira For her look when having to do the "Allamaraine, count to four" routine Jake For the look of embarrassment on his face at 17:07 for ogling Bajoran girls
188 Heavy Lies the Lampshade The Episode Writers At the beginning, Nog says his essay was stolen by Vulcans, but then having it revealed that he's illiterate. Inconsistent excuses. Wallace Shawn For going through so much make up, but still being amazing as an actor
189 Hesher Emeritus Croden For terrible backstory Croden --
190 A Box that Does the Work Kai Opaka At 10:20, Opaka licks her lips in anticipation of the imminent crash Lady reacting to Kai Opaka At 40:30, woman in background strongly rejects Opaka's offer of help
191 A Troubling Amount of Knuck Petit Sirah At 26:26, maintaining eye-contact as he leaves the frame Bashir After ~5 min on the planet, Bashir becomes quippy despite his responsibilities (and basically being the It's Always Sunny Mac)
192 Bajoran Gothic Old Farmhand At 25:09, for his visible dejection about his struggle Middle-aged woman looking at Jake raising his arm At 14:10, Jake fist pumps by himself next to a woman drinking alone
193 Consensual Mornhammer Kira For taking her time during the revelation that what she sees on the screen isn't fully correct Kira For her expression describing "space oscillations"
194 Cotten Candy Thundercloud Lwaxana For the over the pants dick grab around 13:30 O'Brien For talking about puppies to people who don't know what puppies are
195 Pins & Limp Thread Jadzia Because her character is just generally silly despite being caught up in a conspiracy Quark For his overly-injured performance in the neck brace
196 Loaf is on the Pillow [Same] -- Guy at bar during stabbing For taking a drink afterwards to try to establish his innocence
197 Space Butthole Curriculum Guy in crowd during assassination scene at the end For pointing at himself as if to say "I was there!" Morn For eagerly shaking hands with Vedek Bareil as he boards the station as if he cares about Bajoan spiritual leaders
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season Two[]

198 Irish Wank Cardassian Guard For his very silly strut going down the hill Odo For being oblivious in the face of danger (graffito & why are there no cameras on the Promenade?)
199 A Lotion For Everything and Everything in its Lotion The Circle guy wearing no-sleeves during the fight For knowing how cool he'd look for not skipping Arm Day Bareil For his creepy/funny seduction techniques (like showing women the box)
200 Limp Swagger Jadzia For worrying about her robes while significant political change is occuring Morn For being confused about how to get off the station in the crowd scene
201 We Get Worse in Both Directions Bashir For how he hyposprayed the Klingon Odo Because if he cared about security, Quark would be in prison, and has not put up cameras
202 Lennying it to Death Garak For waking Bashir up by just *being* in his room Garak For the orphanage scene
203 Chekhov's Nose Bashir For his reaction to Melora talking about turning the gravity down, in an erotic way Kira For only uttering five words in the episode
204 Slickback Emeritus Morn [same] Morn For sleeping at a bench at the beginning of the episode to get into the bar as soon as it opens
205 The Canoe Has Ridges Rom & Bajoran Murderer For the same reason as Adam, and for the other guy, they way he plans out the murder Rom For when he says "Oo the Ironies!" and his car-alarm scream
206 They Went to Jake Clips Mott the barber For having been underappreciated when the guys reviewed TNG Prof. Seyetik For going out in a blaze of glory
207 One Horn Player Does Not Make an Artist Community Nog Doing pranks, doing bits, running around and being nuts Quark For growling, getting Nog out of jail, and generally acting really big
208 Knuck Spanx Quark For doing the play-by-play himself Bashir For his growing frustration with the empty sauces
209 We're Really Luxuriating in this Maron ? Moment Shimoda for them not showing Jake & Nog when it pans to the upper walkway Sisko For being able to do a lot with little time
210 Apropos of Nothing (But Sort of What We Were Talking About) Sisko For his order at Quark's The End of the Episode The fact that they just cut to Keiko gasping and cutting to the exterior of the ship
211 Act-Drunk Adjacent Replicant O'Brien For his face when told that he and his wife are at home alone that night Sisko For holding off on telling Jake that O'Brien is a replicant
212 The Crystal Direction O'Brien For just punching the phaser button without caring what it's pointed at Lady in purple at 40:53 For showing up in multiple shots in a way that breaks continuity
213 A Real Haranguing or Banging Conundrum Jadzia Despite a long memory of how diplomacy works, simply telling all these people that they are holographic simulations Colyus For being a town bumpkin sheriff who says 'that was my favorite cloak' when they are demonstrating that they are holograms
214 A Really Remarkable Sign Bolian olds at 15:20 For feeding each other at the Klingon restaurant Anyone choosing not to destroy the universe It's universe vs. universe
215 The Sooner We End This Episode The Sooner I Can Stop Looking At You Garak For biting a thread with his teeth Engineer in cargo bay wide shot carrying coffee offering [--]
216 The Loaf Forgives All Albino's assistant For being pointless during the fight scene Kor Knocking heads together, having a bunch of ladies together, enjoying the rest of his life
217 But Enough About My Butt Gul Evek When he has to wait outside with the body for the entire scene Calvin Hudson For his crushing turn at the end
218 Little Beef, Little Pork Calvin Hudson For being a foil for Sisko Calvin Hudson Because he deserves to have more than one Drunk Shimoda
219 20 mg Gummies Throughout Quark Because the security shutters are flimsy Garak For getting the drunkest
220 Conspiracy (Plus Ten Years) The arm/hand coming into the frame at 27m to do double-Kira hands For having big man-hands like the Seinfeld episode The arm/hand coming into the frame at 27m to do double-Kira hands [no explanation necessary]
221 Orb Refractory Period Winn's purple old dudes For existing Bariel For being contractually shirtless
222 Anachronistic Mustache O'Brien For taking a moment to consider a threesome Boone For being a chaos agent despite not really doing much
223 It's Like Her Hair Is A Cookie Jake and Nog Pulling out isolinear chips in the style of the original Shimoda Captain Keogh Terrible strategic thinking
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season Three[]

224 Perplexing Volume Odo For not telling anyone about what was going on inside him Odo For being unpredictable
225 Remmick Levels of Intensity Bashir For not healing O'Brien's very treatable injury Kira For being a third wheel
226 Secret Silk Gowron For throwing his pad away Scene with Quark's financial presentation to the Klingons For being a genuinely funny, well earned joke
227 Be The Industrial Mixer You Want To See In The World Odo For being a fish-out-of-water when whisking Sisko For threatening to destroy Trill culture
228 She Puts the Beige in Bajor O'Brien For taking a break by not really being in the episode Garak For taking it upon himself to kill a person whilst being a guest on an away mission
229 You Can Kill Them With Embarrassment Quark For being suckered into buying salvage through ear touching Odo Smiling
230 Pubescent Combadge Bashir For not thinking about grabbing a phaser until the death rays started back up Garak Unnecessarily accusing Dukat of having a crush on Kira
231 Mid-Brand Cigarette Sisko For his soft-focus placement in the shot at 19:00 O'Brien The line read of "Long time between meals"
232 Big Commander Energy Sisko Being selectively outraged regarding rules Sisko and Dukat For looking at each other and then looking away multiple times
233 No Atheists in a Bajor Hole Keiko For stopping in the airlock doorway Balls Guy For turning the episode into a circus
234 They Found Him in Berkeley, They Left Him in Berkeley Biddle For calling Sisko "New boy" O'Brien For not admitting fault
235 Not Purple Sports Car Success Sisko For being late in understanding that he was Gabriel Bell Chris Brynner Not going through any crisis when making the decision to throw everything in his life away
236 A Very Tough Kouign Aman Nog For the way he annouces that "Money is good but women are bett-er" 60 year old Ferengi waiter For being as old as the Nagus but still working in a bar
237 A Hundred Duck-Sized Odos O'Brien For having lots of off-screen fun hangs Sisko For the having the latitude and ability to be a chaos agent for good
238 Resting Prophecy Face Bajoran security guard in the Cardassian ship For awkward walking, seemingly not wanting to be on camera and for being on a Cardassian ship in the first place O'Brien The scene in the jefferies tube
239 Let Go and Let Horse Red-shirt sitting down at the Carrington Award scene For being stressed that he didn't offer his seat to a superior officer Quark For having a cavalier profound religious experience
240 Top PtaQ Quark For only caring about beating fate for profit Bashir For failing to see the magic in events
241 A Sarlacc Type of Mouth Nurse Jabara For not representing anything but 'Nurse' Sisko For not doing anything about Bashir dying
242 Uncle Terrans Sisko For taking a whole 5 seconds to recognize his wife Sisko For being a sex tourist in the Mirror Universe
243 You Went A to F U Romulan Tal Shiar officer For not playing games and answering all of Sisko and Odos questions Odo For taking a shot at Romulan tailoring
244 Ask the Husnock (If You Can Find Any) Garak For flipping off the room when turning on the torture device Eddington For 'Shimoda-ing' the Defiant's cloaking device
245 The Red Hammer Diaries Morn For listening in to Quark's conversation with Bashir and O'Brien from the staircase Morn Same
246 Space Dish Quark For having a squishy head Bashir and O'Brien Good awkward moment trying to break into Quark's Bar
247 Tomb of the Unknown Dick Bashir For being very concerned hearing that O'Brien is "in the zone" Bajoran soldier that lost it in the canyon For losing it in the canyon
248 (Straight out of) Episode 74 Sisko For his stunt guy looking nothing like him The art director For making a sculpture of a dong going through a hole
249 O'Brien Fingers Bashir Bashir For his timing in revealing that he had been captured O'Brien Incredulity in the face of having 2 changelings in the room with him
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season Four[]

250 Tout Suite Goop Sweep Quark For pouring beer and root beer from the same coffee pitcher Morn For his "Fuck this" attitude and being the first person through the door when the bar re-opens
251 Barely Legal Melanie For self-inflicting a head wound for attention Old Jake's Headband For being jarring and standing out when it shouldn't
252 #ColonGoals Jem'Hadar that gets given Ketracel White For very casually administering the White to himself O'Brien Making a non lethal weapon to combat the Jem'Hadar
253 Emotionally Vulnerable for the Lulz Dukat For his incredibly tight and revealing pants Dukat Same
254 Uncle Magic Bashir Being the only person sitting down, and angling his chair to watch the drama Worf For his description of what his dreams are like
255 They Really Spent on the Sparks Enrique Muniz Trying to take his lunch break during an emergency O'Brien Nothing super specific, but his leadership style and fun faces when Worf is a dick
256 Alleged Loughlin Worf Putting Nog's tooth sharpener in his mouth without disinfecting it Nog For asking for, and receiving, a handjob
257 It’s a Neutral Sausage Soto the Lethean Being a a dumb and bad fighter Kor For saying "No doubt" in response to be told it was an honor to meet him
258 Hoofs in the High Stakes Area Guy who gets knocked out by a cork For being 99.95% of the way to being knocked out Anastasia Komananov Pulling a folder from under the bed backwards without looking
259 Tour Diaper Man who looks like Larry David For looking like Larry David and eating alone at Sisko's President Jaresh-Inyo For being a bad president
260 Back to One Changeling O'Brien For being carefree and high-spirited - unlike the real O'Brien President Jaresh-Inyo For being nearly interesting - but not quite
261 Odo Needs a Dad Quark Bad and obvious bug placement Odo Not saying anything about his feelings
262 Klingon Thirst Trap Kira For advising Dukat argue for Cardassia to be more militaristic Klingon in boiler room For waiting to be beaten up
263 Weeaboo But For Klingons Pakled on promenade Kurn Carrying around a large amount of cured meat Looking silly in the bio-bed Boslic that shot Kurn For shooting Kurn off screen
264 Hair Metal Pinkertons Quark O-face in response to the strike Nausicaans Throwing darts at each other
265 Dartboard Daddy Worf Funny moment saying "Now!?" when hearing Keiko is having another baby Starfleet extra at the bar at Quarks Standing out by making a big face
266 The Cal Hudson Altitude Quark For not being able to tell the difference between Bashir and Morn Courtroom bell For being cut-away from
267 Toolbox Full of Dildos Bolian at the bar Doing nothing about the assault happening next to him No Shimoda given Episode too serious and dark
268 I Am Not Your Mom (I am "Malibu" Your Mom) Jake Being very naive in the Mirror Universe Doofy Klingon guard Losing a key in his boot
269 Write Horny, Edit Sober Jeyal For mispronouncing his own wife's name Worf For sitting completely still for a long time before saying two words and leaving
270 Hard to Hide a Gun in a Bathrobe Sisko For maintaining trust in Eddington Quark For seeming to not know measurements
271 Measure Twice, See if You’re Cut Once O'Brien Being so anti-buffet that he works it into conversations Virak'kara For staring at Jadzia
272 Mother Kevorkian Epran Behaving like he was being payed off to be impressed Bashir Doing street magic medicine
273 Until Your Face is as Blue as Your Shirt Sisko Doing bits in the shuttle accident debrief Garak Strengthening the crotch of Morn's pants (for his big dick)
274 Gowron Tweeted Bashir His attitude saying "Thank you" to the Female Changeling Starfleet Security in the sixsbay For nodding at Odo and leaving the room after the Jem'Hadar
Ep. Name Ben's DS Reason Adam's DS Reason

Season Five[]

275 Chekhov’s Poké Ball Changeling Martok For knifing guards Background Klingons For having fun and being bad background actors
276 USS Patio Sisko For trusting Kilana O'Brien For breathing mystery gas
277 Up Your Worf and Around the Corner Bashir Being stuck cleaning up after everyone else's sex Worf For being oblivious to the world around him
278 Emergency Field Urine Bolian solider For being Francis Buxton Kira and Dax Reaction take during Quark's womb rental speech
279 An Amélie Rom For getting the shits from bacon Rosalind Chao For having the most fun getting her own episode
280 When You Do Time Crime, You Have To Do The Time Crime Time Quark For being the slide whistle ending Bashir For suggesting that he fuck his great grandmother unsolicited
281 The Violent Honeymoon Period Rando Crewman For not realizing she's on a date until Morn gives her a flower Bashir For being aloof while being a fish out of water
282 The Sistine Chapel of Foreheads Odo For having zero chill despite knowing how to get out of trouble Bashir For doing bits and not giving a fuck
283 The Work of Idiots Nog For going to work straight from working out Quark For delivering a line facing away from camera
284 The Bajoranchelor Cassidy Yates For going straight from jail to star trek caves O'Brien For being diplomatic in a faith vs science argument
285 Once a Vigilante, Always a Vigilante Lupaza and Furel For whispering behind Kira's back Security Guard For getting his ass kicked and not getting an apology
286 Liquor Sherpa Dr. Mora For not sending Odo a sick card Shakaar For turning into a dope
287 Shampoo Holocaust Dax For asking Sisko if starfleet fired him (does she get his job?) Odo For throwing monster shade
288 Raktajino is for Closers Only Enabran Tain For remaining true to character on his deathbed. Background Rando At 13:40 for "Big Mouth Energy"
289 Zeal for Ziyal Sisko For deciding to destroy a runabout on very little information Ikat'ika For being the only Jem'Hadar with a code of honor
290 Yeomans are for Fucking O'Brien For worrying that bashir may overhear praise Leeta For agreeing to all suggestions
291 He’s The Dick & The Rubber Odo For getting angry at Arissas' handler for giving a spy a dangerous job O'Brien For passive-aggressively staying in holosuite character
292 Bar Goals Quark For drinking snail juice Dax For forgiving Quark
293 You Can’t be a Legate in Tweed Weyoun For not giving a shit Carassian soldier For staring daggers at a Jem'Hadar in the background
294 Quotient of Shame Rom The "Wavier of Profit and Property" gambit Sisko For his detachment to a crying Rom
295 It Clears the Dance Floor Klingon Deployment For giving a broken ship to a broken general Sisko For his detachment to Worf in his office
296 Lt. Coffee Worf For "yes and"-ing the kid who asks if he can kill people with a look Gabriel (that kid) For being the stereotypical blonde white kid on the wrong path
297 Get it, Player Security Guards outside Eddington's cell For being disinterested in the scene that is happening between Sisko and Eddington Michael Eddington For lifetime achievement
298 It’s Always Your Birthday at the Klingon Restaurant Nog For not using his hand phaser Andrew Robinson For his pyscho performance
299 The Kanar 3 Meeting Room Jake & Nog For making a terrible wizard of oz reference Weyoun Being the villain that is full of zeal
300 The Kanar 3 Meeting Room Rom For saying "I have to go to 'waste extraction'". Rom For saying "Now?!" about approaching Sisko to perform his marriage.

Season Six[]

301 Data Season One Hair O'Brien For doing bits Jake For his incongruity about there not being a freedom of press
302 Dr. Jazz Horse Jake For gotcha interviewing his friends Bashir For setting himself apart from the violence
303 An Entire Premise Evening Klingon High Command For doing bits Jake What is he doing?
304 Admiral Belt Buckle Kira For confronting Odo without checking for Changeleader Damar For microexpressions
305 Faking Flaccid Morn For trying to tie a ribbon with gloved hands Whip-pan For being a fun camera technique
306 Are You There Prophets? It’s me, The Sisko Resistance Club For meeting in public First fighter to be destroyed during the battle RSVP
307 Deprivation is First Base Rom For freaking out at the fire dance The Ending of the episode For everything about it being fun
308 Vagrant Bareil Extra at the bar For gawking at the dead religious icon Extra at :13::40 For reading the mall map with her finger
309 Thirsty for Friendship Weyun For being exicited about an anonymous tipster based on no information Belt Buckles (Admirals) For considering surrendering to The Dominion based on a Star Trek Online simulation by three people
310 This That Is My Dick Leck For being very "Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels" Rom For being naively sweet
311 The Best Ass in Starfleet (Same) - Bashir For being the one that gets in trouble for doing exactly what O'Brien did
312 May the Fourth…Suck It Bajoran Women at 4:05 For Thicc Boots Rando at 7:40 (the actor who played Morn sans makeup!) For not wanting to participate in the stage performance
313 The Littler The Fruit, The Sweeter The Juice Willie For hitting on Bennys' girl in front of him (Same) For that and more
314 Ennui About Un-Wee or Worf Poem Blueballs Nog For thinking he fixed the computer Jem'Hadar shooting in engineering For not watching Hunt for Red October
315 R U Trying to Talk Kanar RE: Damar 2 Me? Chester the cat For not liking people sitting in his chair Chadwick What are you even doing Chadwick?
316 Tongo Cuck [ same ] Bashir For speed-reading the rules of tongo
317 Wore Out the Netflix Dax For her inappropriate party theme Sisko For allowing Kira to time travel
318 Kayakodone Sisko For ordering Bashir to join Section 31 Bashir For giving the finger at :04:20
319 Casualty Friday Sisko For placing the camera downrange of his acting Vreenak Line reading of "It's a faaake!"
320 Nodding on the One and the Three Cenobite for gasping at seeing Odo x Kira kiss Waiter for dropping his menu device at seeing Odo x Kira kiss
321 Bajoran Ragnarok Kira for having a hotel continental breakfast fruit salad Kai Wynn for using technology she can't possibly understand
322 There’s No Uhuras in Red Squad Dissenting Crewman For not chanting "Red Squad" with everyone else Zitty Crewman For having acne in the future
323 Novelty Sombrero Leeta For being a bright spot in the episode Anyone who had the chance to stop this For not stopping this
324 Cro-Magmolly Bottle Stabee for actually being stabbed by a bottle Lieutenant Jones for not getting the right eye-lines in a pickup
325 This Charm is a Bucket @01:16 Jem'Hadar Jem'Hadar being a civilian @07:54 extra for not being in costume
326 The Brown Eye to Cardassia Prime two guys in backzips for whatever happened in their careers that they still have those uniforms Senator Letant (Special Recognition: Weyoun) for making fun of Martoks' one eye (for being "that guy" every time Dukat walks into the room)

Season Seven[]

327 Trill Wills Joe Sisko for taking his jumbo recipie to his grave instead of teaching it to his son Bashir volunteering for a dangerous mission
328 Coincidentally Ankylosaured Quark For picking the 'cutting ourselves' moment to show up Klingon Note writer For sending 72 year old Brock Peters into the desert
329 Covered in Talc Rando for ditching Morn Jake for making a pass at a woman in front of his dad
330 Break The Internet, T’Kumbra Kira For including Nog as "senior staff" Odo Being caught "jacking out" by Kira
331 Amish Makeover Background alien For distinctive loaf Patrick For flipping between Lenny and Admiral
332 Lethal Minestrone O'Brien For pulling parts out of ships Weyoun 6 For having no fear
333 Lethal Minestrone Darok for not going on the last stand mission Darok for bringing blood wine to the bridge on speculation
334 The Klingon Jukebox Doesn’t Take Quarters Worf For trying to glorify battle Vic Fontaine For letting Rom down easy
335 Miracle Measuring Contest Gul Dukat Pawing on the floor trying to find the right pill Gul Dukat For being the only one having fun
336 Daddy Vicc Rando For not letting exiting passengers leave the shuttle before boarding Vic Fontaine For not losing money on a casino
337 Taint Miners Martok Because no one came to his birthday Norvo For being drunk
338 Biker Pixie Dreamgirl Guard in brig for getting cast as a Klingon Guy Worf punches in the face for not seeing it coming
339 The K’Pruder Film rando eating breakfast for being cast as a halpless victim Bertram for tanking his career in pursuit of a hobby
340 Tentacle MAN [ same ] Kira for getting off to Odo as Aurora Borealis
341 Cheesesteak Handshake Nog For the closeup of him practicing safe-cracking O'Brien For letting himself be strip searched by holograms
342 Tribble Dentata Admiral Belt Buckle for coughing after drinking real alcohol Sloan for doing spy stuff
343 Daxes are Gonna Dax Ezri & Worf for not packing the communications relay in the luggage Ezri For jaking a shuttle
344 The K’Dechdel Test [ same ] James Otis For acting one step back from big
345 A Pod that will Live in Infamy Weyoun For doing bits in public Louise Fletcher For expanding the range of Kai Winn
346 The Necropahmicon Gul Rusot For his line delivery Gul Damar For being in the pre-consquences phase of a big life decision
347 It Could Be Bajillions Solbor For not writing a letter to be sent in the event of his death O'Brien For goofing off
348 A Charade for Dignity Garak For enjoying Kira dragging Damar Garak For having the most fun
349 Lights On Bashir For trying to bullshit that an injection wouldn't hurt Gene Hackman and Hugh Grant For the movie Extreme Measures
350 Casa de Tain Seskal For his 110% death scene Quark For always being wrong
351 The Prophet Goodbye Worf For saying Minsk Mila For being a compelling character

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